It’s time to confess. This has been gnawing at me for some time now. Here it goes…
I have done little to no work on my racial equity journey and it has been almost a year since I last posted on this blog. Now, the inner perfectionist in me wants to explain and justify why I haven’t done anything. “I had a baby!” I want to shout. However, for this fact, I can only quote to myself a particular t-shirt design I recently saw on Instagram: “It definitely matters, but also definitely doesn’t.” I love this statement and I have been finding it applicable to so many situations. You can buy one of the t-shirts here. https://www.instagram.com/p/CU2-b-lvFuz/
Going through pregnancy, giving birth, and caring for an infant has definitely been exhausting and time consuming. Yet, it is a privilege to stop thinking about and working towards racial justice. Police shootings have not stopped. There are STILL too many places in this country where people do not have access to clean water – an issue that has only become more treacherous as communities try to fight against COVID-19. And COVID continues to have a disproportionate impact on Black, Indigenous, and POC communities.
This past week, I heard an amazing colleague ask,
“How do we ensure that racial justice isn’t just a trend, but a norm?”
Ruel Olanday, Jr.
This question cut straight to my gut when I heard it.
I started Intersect Race in June 2020, shortly after protests began following the murder of George Floyd. While I lead trainings on structural racism for work and engage in racial equity conversations within my organization, I had wanted to be more intentional in my personal spheres and use my relationships and proximity to white communities to do more. Over 16 months later, I have found myself asking, “Was I just following a trend?”
And now, I’m asking you:
- Have you finished any of those books you purchased over the summer of 2020 or are they still sitting on your nightstand? Or have they made their way to collecting dust on your bookcase?
- Are you still supporting Black-owned businesses?
- Can you name specific actions you have taken in the past 3 to 6 months to disrupt white supremacy culture or dismantle structural barriers within your organization?
- Have you had any conversations about race or racism in the past month?
These questions are intended for you to reflect upon. If you feel yourself becoming defensive or rationalizing, I invite you to pause. Take a breath. Whatever your reasons or rationale, know that it matters, and also doesn’t.
I invite you to think about what you’ll do moving forward…today. Tomorrow. Write it down. Next week, revisit what you wrote. Did you follow through? If not, try again. Racism requires no effort for it to be maintained, which means you can always start again; pick up where you left off.
This post is me starting again. It’s not as eloquent or filled with as much information as I may normally strive for, but it’s a start. It’s reconnecting and recommitting. I’m also trying to model letting go of perfectionism, which is a white supremacy norm. It’s more important that I commit and do the work imperfectly than delay the work by attempting perfection.
My Commitment & Next Steps
With all of this in mind, starting November 1st, I am going to take on Dr. Eddie Moore Jr’s 21-Day Racial Equity Habit Building Challenge (https://21dayequitychallenge.com/21-day-original/). Pre-baby life, I probably would have tried to commit to blogging each day about my progress, but I know that is not feasible or attainable for me right now, so I’m going to commit to completing the challenge and then sharing at least one reflection post once I’m done. I invite you to take the challenge too and encourage a friend to do it with you as an accountability partner. Together, we can recommit ourselves to making racial justice the norm.
Thank you. You raise excellent questions about how we stay involved and practice social justice.